when i was 17

7 years ago? wait........i was just another young, innocent 17 years old. Those were the days when i have to wake up as early as 530 am in the morning to catch the ricketty bus, to give a pat on brownie's forehead, to tell my grandmama that i love her and to get Ati to braid my hair into two cute lil ponytails. Brownie would be wagging it's tail, breathing harshly. the breeze was always cold but yet i had never complained. it was a year without driving license. I was always on my mountain bike, being chased after by stray dogs and snakes too. i don't remember how many times i had fallen on flexed elbow from my bicycle. my mom would cleaned my wounds with povidone iodine and i would be weeping. it was the year that the idiotic box got its very own astro service and my eyes were glued to it. michelle and i would be walking hand in hand to take the town bus. i then met a guy who was mastubating in the bus. i saw his organs and i actually pitied him. i thought that he had injured his genitals because it was super red. it must have been swollen too and that's why he couldn't zip his pants. how naive i was?!! It was a year filled with endless puppy loves. issac would be walking me home. He had once drew a card of us, with me in sunglasses and called me endlessly in taylors. J had once asked me out for a val's date. My inbox was fulled with his daily mails and ecards. Aha..not to forget, it was also the year that i met KF :p

that was me when i was still sweet 17. owh.......such sweet memories (minus that guy in the bus)

Qing ge (love song)

salt and sugar

sugar was trying her best to mingle with salty. well, the differences may not be obvious to the myopic eye. my blur field of vision made it almost impossible for me to see the true colours in them. i went to med school for few years and got to know that both salt and sugar is bad. salt causes hypertension and sugar causes diabetes. so, when salt and sugar blend together.... it is the worst of all shit!! simply because you can get multiorgan complications. sugar is worst than salt. we all fell for her because she's sweet. it made you wanting her more and in the end, all you get is the pain of being alone and the heart weeps in pain. next... you could see sugar luring more and more innocent myopic young adults into her trap. i do pity them but not this time. because the soon to be victim is the salt which doesn't even taste good at all.

lingerie shop

he hid the present in his car, expecting me to notice it. but, i didn't. he gave it to me when we reached the hostel small gate. i was delighted once i saw the plastic bag. wow!!! its from young hearts!!! i knew what it was. it's the pinkish tweety bird bathing robe that i had set my eyes on during the weekends. 'thank you bau bei!!! ' and i gave a peck on his cheek.

Look!! its not easy for a guy to buy something from a lingerie shop. just imagine how many pair of eyes would be staring at him. i would do so to if i see a guy walking into a lingerie shop ALONE! he must be a transexual or some thailand ah kua to be close those lacy bras. i must praise KF for that courage! applause applause :p

me....not stingy?

I was born on 5 June 1984, Tuesday.

POSITIVE : Her speech is soft and a good entertainer . Good at keeping secret, only certain person can know the secret she's keeping. Her decision not tough and easily influence by others. In financial matters, she's good at savings, not stingy. Hardworking, responsible, like to be praise but need guidance and supervising in many aspect.

NEGATIVE : Like to blame others for any mistake, and have potential to become insincere. When she didn't like a person she will caused trouble, stubborn. Give up easily and always depend on others. Always trapped in tough decisions.

i need to pay him to go for dinner with me!!

i was trying really hard to focus but it was to no avail. my lil tummy was growling so badly until i could feel the burning sensation within it. it was a nice sunday with my boyfriend feeding me with more and more false hopes. 'bi, i am going to cook you sambal prawn during the weekends ok'. his sentence was still ringing in my ears. it was like a soothing melodious music that keeps on playing. sunday comes by and he was then telling me..... 'bi, do u know that i have to spend more time and money when i cook?' see how great my boyfriend is as a liar? for those who have done his quiz in facebook, you will definately stand firm by my side.

i suggested shopping in dataran pahlawan because that extreme laziness was multiplying inside me again! it was supposed to be a shopping day but we ended up satisfying our pitiful shrunken tummy in restaurant tong heng. he wanted to show off his not-so-good mandarin and i gave him the honour to order our food. since i had promised to treat him dinner (provided that he accompanies me to eat), i had no choice but to let him choose the dishes! that was so silly of me. he chose the most expensive of all bihun as the main dish. it costs us RM 20. i have to pay my boyfriend to eat dinner with me. how pathetic right?

look! this is the bihun. don't ask me why it is so expensive. if you are observant enough, you will realize that it comes with a dismantled big prawn. in fact, this is the biggest prawn that i have ever had in malacca. it was fresh. i don't think that it is really chopstick-licking good but kf had actually licked until the bowl was sparkling clean!!! gosh!!!





next, we ordered the seafood fried rice and veg.


the moral of the story.... don't ever think of getting kf to choose the dishes!
i am totally broke now... sob... going to depend on my oats tom :(

to make kf

to make kf...

here are the ingredients....

3A's = kf

1st A = princess anne. i have to admit that the first A forms 90% of kf. she needs the highest of all investments, maintenance, love and care. so, planning to get another replacement?

2nd A = apple i phone without 3G and bluetooth. sorry cafu.. i know your phone is sucky but i don't tell lies because i hate you calling me...liar! liar! panties on fire! wink wink

3rd A = toyato altis. its a really nice babe provided that it is not infestated by flying baby cockroaches. the beauty of altis? i don't need extra pillows to get that extra height when i drive.

f off

i just hate people for taking my stuffs without my permission!!!
so what if you have gotten permission from my bf?
those are my stuffs!! not his!! he has no rights to give them away !!
you had just shattered the trust that i have been cultivating so meticulously in you by doing so!!!!
i've learnt my lesson!! i'll keep my stuffs all by myself!!
not going to trust anybody anymore for that just prove how stupid and gullible i am!!
i need to learn how to survive in this devilish world where the most selfish of all mankind dominates!!!

SO, just FUCKED OFF!!!!
please learn how to ask permission next time.
my bf is my bf!! i am me!!
i maybe tiny but i am not that insignificant!!!

our 7th anniversary

it's our 7th anniversary!! He suggested italian food in Olio. I wore my bareback silky white dress from 18eighty and i just loved it so much. it looked really nice on my newly tanned skin. i had inevitably faked that cornea of mine. i wore the alluring freshkon contact lenses, just to have that pretty, big, bright eyes. the double lid stickers made it easier for eye shadows. He bought me a new pair of heels to match my white dress. that's why i call him my ATM machine :p

Olio was magnificent. He gave me the honour to order food for the night. i must have been so shallow for i couldn't comprehend most of the words printed in the menu. Well, since italians are famous for their pasta and pizza, i've decided to order both just to satisfy our taste buds. hmm, i ordered the zuppa funghi soup as appetizer. Had always wanted to know how different italian mushroom soups are from the others. owh......so dissapointed!! not much difference and that costs us RM 13.50

next, i've chosen pizza fruiti di mare. it comes with mozarella, seafood and tomato sauce. there goes my vow on dieting. wait... i don't remember tasting any seafood from that piece of bread now. did we just got conned again? He finished most of 12 inches pizza all by himself. i had one slice. Sabah calvin got two slices :p

how did i choose the pasta? i saw the famous spaghetti bolognese and i had tasted too many of them. cafu used to cook them almost every month. there was fettucine but i was never a fan of fettucine. so i go for the pasta with the longest name in the menu. Linguine Al Pesto Con Gamberoni (Linguine with Basil Pesto and Seared Prawns) . i don't even know how to pronounce this pasta correctly. i was merely pointing at the menu when the waiter took the orders. 'err... just give me one of this' :p Kf hated this pasta so much for it tasted like blended spinach. he was complaining that i had entirely forgotten that he hated spinach. haiz... but if you had looked clearly in the menu, they did not state anything about spinaches!!! it was really delicious although it looked so gross. yummy!!

he bought me a present from lovely lace which cost RM 70. i can now hang my collection of earings, bracelets, necklaces and watches on that bridal doll now. love it so much bau bei!!! thanks!

so, are we going to celebrate anniversary together next year? i hope you won't be too busy probing vaginas in the delivery suite until you totally forgotten bout me. there goes 7 years from the day i knew you in lower six science 3, st michaels ipoh. you were sitting behind me and i was the one who initiated the conversation for you were such a shy boy!! now, what happened to you? you go around disturbing other girls and all. aiks!! nvm...still love you. muacks!!

happy anniversary bue!!!!

to ask for forgiveness

Alvin was staring at that orangie string around my left wrist in awe. 'So, that is your traditional religion huh? i thought you are a christian! ' Gosh!! since when i got baptized? i don't even wear a cross. he was not the first one who think so. my name must have been quite misleading. I do have plans to convert into christianity for i love churches. in fact, i wanted to walk on the aisle with a few lil cute flower girls on my wedding day. Mr tall A had once told me to understand more about my own religion before making that drastic decision. Don't ask me about buddhism. i don't know anything about buddhism until that pathetic moral class 2 years ago. Then, there i was falling in love slowly with the teachings of buddha.

Buddhist are supposed to follow the 5 core precepts.

1) DO NOT KILL

that means that i should not harm and cause any sufferings to other organisms. wait... i don't remember how many ants and cockroaches i had killed mercilessly. i have baygon in my room and i spray that insecticide when i see cockroaches crawling in. i had used my room slippers to smack at those ants which make my life miserable. then, i had used the broom to hit on dragonflies. the gigantic davidson is also a good source for killing insects. fast and painless :p

2) DO NOT STEAL

hmm..... i have stolen things before from the mall. owh... that was in standard 2. my eyes was glued to this particular pencil and i wanted it badly. And when you take bisacodyl from the ward without a prescription, do you call it stealing?

3) DO NOT LIE

i had been teling a lot of white lies...... 'oh kf, your spaghetti tastes so finger licking good!!! '

a buddhist is not supposed to gossip. owh!!! i gossiped almost every single day!!! so how? i hope God doesn't cut my tongue in hell.....

4) DO NOT MISUSE SEX

adultery is forbidden. owh... i shall skipped this part since i am not married.

5) DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL

oh no!!!! i just had a bottle of 5% vodka a fortnight ago. it was nice seriously. how do people survive without a lil bit of alcohol??

Anywayzz..... HAPPY WESAK DAY TO ALL

i have gone to ask for forgiveness in the temple this morning. i shall try not to kill insects and gossip anymore. i know its almost impossible to do so. there goes my job as a CNN reporter. sob..

i'll try to be a good girl buddha!! no worries!!

slow, fat and fucked up

so, it was another moment for a few seconds of reflection. what have i achieved for the past 4 days since the commencement of housemen shadowing? NOTHING!! i failed in all the simple procedures like blood taking ( Ok, the lady was a bit plump. nobody could noticed or feel for the veins ), inserting an IV brannula ( it was really bad. i didn't know where the needle had gone to ) and probing my lil finger into the distendable vagina ( i couldn't feel the cervix at all ).

life gets really fucked-up when your boyfriend managed to do all the procedures and you can't.he told me that his practical skills are better than mine and how slow i am. he was telling D that she'll pass her finals for sure and i am at the borderline, simply because i get panicked way too easily. so, should i weep like a baby? just like what miss SN did when she failed to withdraw blood? i remembered how difficult it was for me to learn how to take BP when i was in manipal. OK, that was supposed to be easy but i took longer than it should. i just need more time and practice. see.... its not easy being a slow learner. i took 8 years to realise that the side mirrors of a car serves a purpose. i took 4 months to realise that i couldn't feel the cervix because i did not probe deep enough, how short my fingers were and u need to probe at least 12 cm to reach the cervix.

i've learnt from experience. i could still remember the indian lady in A&E who developed an absence seizure so abruptly while she was talking to me. i didn't know what to do. i was merely standing there in a state of shock. it was like a vicious cycle. i met another malay lady who became unconcious while she was chatting with me. she was bleeding internally and was in so much pain. i held her hand and chatted with her to alleviate the pain in her. i knew how to alert the nurse when she became unconcious. i didn't stand there and stared at her anymore. she introduced me to her daughter..... inilah dr annie yang temankan mak dan tolong mak masa mak pengsan... fuyoh... so proud of myself. so, alert somebody and monitor the vitals when somebody become unconcious :p

to make matter worst.... OMY, Ju and M gave a remark that i have gain weight. Ok, its not something nice to hear. i want to highlight that you must be prepared to face cricitisms. only true friends will tell you that how much you have grown horizontally, how ugly you look with your new hairstyle, how horrible your dress is, how thick is that blusher that keeps your cheek pinkish.... There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. So, don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason why they didnt make it to the future...

the excessive fat came from a change in my dietary habits. i have been consuming those oily food from gazebo, banana leaf rice and potatoes. i was never a fan of gazebo but had to be there just because somebody loves oily food. it has been so bad that i had to screen pics before kf upload them on facebook. i am going to go for diet now. no more fine carbo, chicken rice and potatoes. going to ban french fries... sob.. there goes my favorite food.

KF.... STOP FEEDING ME WITH OILY STUFFS! YOU ARE GETTING FAT FAT FAT!

SO I AM JUST ANOTHER SLOW, FAT, FUCKED UP MEDICAL STUDENT !!!!

redang trip

the colorful small sea- anemone like polyps that beat in uniform according to the rhythm of the tropical oceanic waves beneath the crystal clear salt water of redang island had the entire group mesmerized. i had always longed for the breeze to touch my pinkish cheek. i could still feel the hot breeze slapping my face now. we were astonished that we could feast our epicanthic folded eyes with an island that is so unpolluted, untouched. all of us had wanted a cheap getaway from the stressful shithole in malacca. Small Calvin got a nice package from the matta fair which includes a 3D2N chalet accommodation, snorkeling and food for RM 300. we had decided to drive to marang jetti for we couldn't trust any of the bus drivers anymore. kf had borrowed a 6 seater toyota wald from sani (his 3rd sister's colleague). Sani was so nice to us that he actually took the trouble to send his car for a bubble wash and vacuum. i guess that he must have gotten his jaw dropped so badly till it touches the ground once we returned his car. it was filled with fine sand.

we were all nestled in redang reef. This must be one of the worst hotel that i have ever been too for we had to clear our plates and cups after each meal!!! all of the workers had this peculiar whistle tied around their neck like a dog leash..... they'll blow the whistle whenever its dining time, snorkeling time etc.... i guess we were treated more like national service trainees than tourists. how pathetic!! thank god the food was superb and the room was cosy clean.

Snorkeling was supposed to be fun because the corals were so pretty and you could see naughty nemos darting in and out from those swaying corals. i got chickened once i saw a jellyfish right behind my shoulder. owh..... i inched to the shore as fast as i could as jellyfish sting could be awfully painful.... my pain threshold is super duper low... AND..kf did nothing to save me from the plastic like jellyfish!!!!!!!! next, we saw an eel (we thought that it was a coral initially and kf had disturbed that creature). we got a shock out of our lives once that slimy creature opens its mouth just to show us its sharp jagged tooth. it was then chasing after us. i guess that was the only momento that i swam during snorkeling. otherwise, i was merely floating on the surface and getting kf to pull me along. see...... that is what we call the extreme laziness. Kf had light headedness from hypoxia as he had to pull along a 44kg princess.

i had trespassed the magnificent laguna resort for i loved the swimming pool. the chlorinated water was warm. the scorching sun must have heated it up the whole day. otherwise, it would take 25 people to pee in the pool to have that awesome temperature. Silly kf was merely using his DSLR to capture me. i pitied him because he couldn't leave his camera by the poolside and jump in to enjoy the water. he had to stay some distance away from the pool for it might wet his lens. i was glad that nobody noticed that i had trespassed... it was written STRICTLY FOR LAGUNA GUESTS ONLY.... lol......all u need to do is.... walk in confidently :p

i had fallen in love with summer point. a group of singers sang so beautifully that we sat there for hours. kf had fallen asleep under the stars for 2 nights. he had always wanted to know what i did while he was in his dream land. i slept on the hammock, counting stars. i am loyal OK? stop having delusion of infidelity!! besides, it was too dark for me to check out on cute guys :p

all in all, i am tanned now. had been strolling along the shore with my bikini. owh.... back to shithole tomorrow :)