i am sorry daddy

it was supposed to be a lovely night. i met a group of pharmacists and we played badminton together. i can't describe how delighted it was when they invite me for the next badminton outing. it has been 8 years and desmond, my taylor's college buddy is still the same old, friendly chap. I dragged cafu along and it was indeed surprising that he mingled well with them. afterall, cafu is a shy boy. wink wink

it was also the night that i scolded my dad for the first time. to make matters worse, i scolded him in public, putting aside his pride and fame as a doctor. i dreaded his actions. i shouted at the top of my voice, gave him the coldest stare and stormed off. he called me and begged me not to tell mommy. I had no choice. I don't want mommy to be sad again. we acted as if nothing had happened at home. we had dinner as usual. he tried to talk to me, but i gave him one syllabus answer. then, i sent him a horrible sms. i told him that unless and until he quit 'that action', i am not going to talk to him anymore. he didn't reply my sms. he had stopped talking to me too. i am feeling guilty now. But, i have only one daddy. i don't want anything bad to happen to him. sob. what should i do now?

i'm sorry daddy but i hope things will change before it is too late

p/s : my dad is not having an affair

that extra title

it has been exactly one week since i left med school, my pinkish room and my lovely friends. I could feel tonnes of weight over my upper eyelids as i tore down that wrinkled, dusty curtain which was perfectly painted with huge daisies. Then, it all came back in fragments. Those sweet moments were vague. I could no longer recall the details but it was sweet Tasha who chose the curtain for me. she said that pink is sweet. I wanted a blue sheet of cloth initially.

I had always wanted to vacate this comfy room for good. When it was the time to do so, I left with a heavy heart, wondering if i would ever see this room again. I took one last gaze. The bookshelf was empty. The window was dull. The mattress was no longer alluring. I inserted the key into the keyhole, knocked on Julianna's door to bid farewell. I knew that i am going to miss M428 and my noisy, cranky neighbor.

I accompanied my aunt for her routine follow up in the health clinic the following day. I was daydreaming when the Chinese uncle who sat next to me told me that................

'i don't know whether these doctors know how to treat patients. They are all so young! I bet that they do not have the experience to do so. '

I gave him a sheepish grin. While most of us are proud to have that extra title in front of our names, I suddenly realize that i had a license to kill. Looking at that same old uncle, I felt so ashamed of myself. I do not know how to treat a simple conjunctivitis. If a patient comes to me with red sticky eyes, what drug should i prescribed? I guess i will give him Gentamicin eyedrop. But how long should he be on that antibiotic eyedrop? what is the dosage? how many times per day? are there other drugs besides gentamicin? I just want to be a safe young doctor. I want to safe more lives. I rather not be a doctor if i know that i will kill someone.

There is no point bragging that you are DR when knowledge and experience is so shallow. My daddy had told me to stay humble and that's what i am going to be. I've seen how some of us beam with pride when juniors addressed them as doctors. I do not know about them but i feel awkward when my own friends call me DR Lazy Lil Princess. After 5 years in medic school, i am still the same tiny me. I just hope that people will not turn arrogant with that extra title.

congrats sk!

the sun was hiding behind the clouds. it was yet another stressful night. She was sitting next to me, with that most decent smile being plastered on her face. Amidst those terrible palpitations, a sense of monotonous melanchony crept its way into my knuckled size heart. Our eyes met and it has been five years. She has never failed to be there through the thick and thins. There goes the quiet nights in india when she would snuggled and curled up like a ball under the covers in my lovely house.

My gaze was again fixed to the badminton court. There was where i met her.

'hey, can you become my hostel mate?'

I was merely floating in the air at that moment, beaming with joy. Being that lil spoilt princess, i had applied for a single room and had no choice but to turn her down. I was then bragging with pride to cafu.

'Cafu.... look! somebody came and talk to me!!! nobody wants you! haha'

I like the way she is. Simply becos she is about my height. She is tiny but yet mighty. Siew Kuan is the only distinction scorer in my batch! I am so proud of her! congrats babe!

Thanks for ..................

being my chatterbox.

waiting for me whenever we jog. I know i am slow.

decorating my indiana house with that big silver star.

the kluang station coffee.

borrowing me your bathroom when i had the greatest shock of my life in Sharada Hostel. Sharada was a nightmare.

being poor in driving.

sticking up for me whenever i met that most horrible person in my life.

for borrowing me a few bucks whenever i am hungry.

for becoming my guinea pig.

for keeping my secrets.

I walked up the flight of stairs last night and realized that you had left. Its time for a new chapter of our life. I had to say goodbye to our gossiping sessions. I do not know when we will sit next to each other again, just like how we used to. I clasped my fingers and pray silently that nothing will ever change our friendship.

I LOVE YOU SIEW KUAN!!

p/s : we are not lesbians

please............

she had never call me. she expected me to call her.
if i didn't call her.... she'll put the blame on me for not dialing her number.
she did not even remember that i had finished my theory although i told her the details the last time i went back to ipoh.
She did not know that i had been having butterflies in my tummy for the past one horrible week and how severe those palpitations were.
It has always been like that.
I used to hate her so much.
Ju told me that she'll be very heart broken if that happens to her.

But she called me three times during my long case yesterday!!
THREE TIMES!! wow..... that's something new!

the long case was bad. i was the last one to go in and to come out from the panel's room. I got a case of left sided pleural effusion secondary to lung carcinoma. i missed the liver which was so freaking small!! i percussed all the way up to the costal margin and it was resonant! that liver was below the subcostal margin at the anterior axillary line. her trachea was mildly shift to the right but Dr Niv did not agree with my findings!! grr............when she showed me the CXR... the trachea was really shifted to the right. damn!!

please Dr Niv.... don't fail me because of that! i heard that you are very understanding and kind.
Dr sach .... please help me too although i know that u are really cocky at times...

pray hard

God of Wisdom,

I thank you for the knowledge gained and the learning experiences of the semester. I come to you this day and ask you to illuminate my mind and heart. Let your Spirit be with me as I prepare for exams, guiding my studies, and giving me insight so that I can perform to the best of my ability. Please grant me the strength to handle the pressure during these final days of the semester, the confidence to feel secure in my knowledge, and the ability to keep an appropriate perspective through it all. Help me to keep in mind what is truly important, even as I focus my time and energy on these tests in the immediate future. Finally, may I sense your peace in knowing that I applied myself to the challenges of this day.

-Amen-

manipal masala maggi

mun yooi gave us masala maggi as souvenir from manipal this time. i am starting to miss the maggi breakfast that i used to have behind the KMC stage. wow.... those were the days when cafu, weiyen, skinny leow and I would be busy shoving down the hot plate of maggi while waiting for the classes to commence.

what is so special about masala maggi?


it comes in a double pack. Look at its thickness.............so much difference from malaysia maggi eh?


it has a history of 25 years! it is as old as me :(


it comes with 2 short stories, of which one is written by a doctor. so, i guess masala maggi is good for health?


cafu had been brainstorming the whole night on how to prepare that delicious masala noodles. the noodles in the hot wok.


finally......tadahhhh........................



gosh! are u craving for masala maggi now?


thanks mun yooi babe! it makes me miss manipal more :p

sticky mooncakes

I was day dreaming when cafu nudged me through the messenger.

cafu : bi, william's gf had gone back for the holidays. he's asking us to join him for dinner
me : oh ... let william decide what to eat OK? we'll have to cancel our ramadhan bazaar plan
cafu : he has a buy 1 free 1 coupon in The Windmill. We'll be leaving at 6 pm.

me : OK :)

We ordered 2 sets of dinner and was given another 2 sets for free. Needless to say, the boys had to finish up the extra food. I guess that is how they gain weight. Hehe

Then, we went hunting for mooncakes. We were fascinated with the snow skin durian and tiramisu paste mooncake. I had never tasted a durian mooncake for the past 25 years. Let's give it a try.

Cafu's tiramisu mooncake was just so sticky. I don't know why it was green inside.

it was as sticky as the elephant glue. stuck to the knife like a dead moth!!

Princess's durian mooncake was no way better. It was stickier than cafu's mooncake. We slit it open and the center core was stuffed with durian paste. I wonder where did they get the durian paste from? The durian season was 3 months ago. Oops.... The skin was too thick and it did not blend well with the durian paste. Might as well purchase a durian fruit instead. grr....

trying their best to get a whiff of that durianic bomb!!

Notorious's snow skin lotus mooncake was the best. It was the most presentable mooncake for the night.

The three of us had a cup of hot green tea each while feeding our lil tummies with mooncakes.

It was a quiet night. we were watching the chinese beauty pageant on astro when it rained cats and dogs. that idiotic box turned black instantaneously. there was no reception from the TV station. The bikini girls had all disappeared. I sensed the disappointment of the lustful boys.

We had no choice but to play mahjong while waiting for the rain to stop.



The Mid Autumn Festival Story




Once upon a time, the earth had ten suns. They burned the crops and people suffered of the infertile. Houyi sympathized the humans, so he decided to shoot down the sun but leave one to benefit the humans. After he shot down the suns, he became a hero. He had a beautiful wife name Chang'e and they lived happily together. Houyi had a lot of apprentices; they followed him to learn hunting. One day, on Houyi’s way back home the immortals emperor gave Houyi a pill which granted eternal life as a reward for shooting down the suns. He warned Houyi, “Make no haste to swallow the pill.” But Houyi loved Chang’e very much and did not want to leave her, so he gave the pill to Chang’e and let her store the pill in a safe place. Chang’e put the pill in her jewelry box. But one of Houyi’s apprentices Peng discovered this secret. He decided to steal the pill. One day Houyi and other apprentices went to the mountain. Peng pretended he was sick so that he can stay at home. Everyone went to the mountain except Chang’e, who stayed at home. He intruded in Chang’e’s room and forced her to give him the pill. Chang’e knew she cannot fight Peng so she took flight and flew far far away. She did not want to leave her husband, so she stopped at the moon which is closest to Earth. After Houyi knew what happened, he was very angry and heartbroken. He looked up into the night and called Chang’e’s name. He discovered that inside the moon there was a lady’s shadow that look like Chang’e, so he ran and ran and tried to reach the moon. He failed due to the strong wind.

So, i guess we celebrate the mooncake festival to remember lonely Chang'e who stays on the moon. wait!! there used to be ten suns?? that is just so fantabulous!