that extra title

it has been exactly one week since i left med school, my pinkish room and my lovely friends. I could feel tonnes of weight over my upper eyelids as i tore down that wrinkled, dusty curtain which was perfectly painted with huge daisies. Then, it all came back in fragments. Those sweet moments were vague. I could no longer recall the details but it was sweet Tasha who chose the curtain for me. she said that pink is sweet. I wanted a blue sheet of cloth initially.

I had always wanted to vacate this comfy room for good. When it was the time to do so, I left with a heavy heart, wondering if i would ever see this room again. I took one last gaze. The bookshelf was empty. The window was dull. The mattress was no longer alluring. I inserted the key into the keyhole, knocked on Julianna's door to bid farewell. I knew that i am going to miss M428 and my noisy, cranky neighbor.

I accompanied my aunt for her routine follow up in the health clinic the following day. I was daydreaming when the Chinese uncle who sat next to me told me that................

'i don't know whether these doctors know how to treat patients. They are all so young! I bet that they do not have the experience to do so. '

I gave him a sheepish grin. While most of us are proud to have that extra title in front of our names, I suddenly realize that i had a license to kill. Looking at that same old uncle, I felt so ashamed of myself. I do not know how to treat a simple conjunctivitis. If a patient comes to me with red sticky eyes, what drug should i prescribed? I guess i will give him Gentamicin eyedrop. But how long should he be on that antibiotic eyedrop? what is the dosage? how many times per day? are there other drugs besides gentamicin? I just want to be a safe young doctor. I want to safe more lives. I rather not be a doctor if i know that i will kill someone.

There is no point bragging that you are DR when knowledge and experience is so shallow. My daddy had told me to stay humble and that's what i am going to be. I've seen how some of us beam with pride when juniors addressed them as doctors. I do not know about them but i feel awkward when my own friends call me DR Lazy Lil Princess. After 5 years in medic school, i am still the same tiny me. I just hope that people will not turn arrogant with that extra title.