my impaired glucose.......sob

ouch!! Capillary blood was oozing from the tip of my middle finger. Skinny leow must have taken all his revenge on me by pushing the lancet deep down into the soft tissues of my pitiful middle finger. we were then fixing our gazes onto that glucometer in yellow zone.

20,19,18,17..........5,4,3,2,1.................

my fasting blood glucose was 5.3!!! having a family history of type 1 diabetes mellitus had always instilled a monotonous fear in me. since i was a child, i had never failed to see my daddy getting his insulin injections. he needs to carry his pen along with him, even during vacations. well, since my pain threshold is super duper low, i could not imagine poking insulin subcutaneously into my flabby abdomen. i will have to say goodbye to my bikinis. OMG.... 5.3 is quite high (although 5.6 is impaired fasting). there goes cafu who then pricked his own fingers to show off his beautiful post prandial glucose level which was only 4.9!!!

to make matters worst, i did a 2 hour post prandial after lunch and it was 8.1!!! that's impaired post prandial and i should go for a MGTT. gosh..... how does 75 grams of glucose tastes like?!! my little mind came out with a brilliant idea. i am not going to get pregnant at all!! since prevention is better than cure, why take the risk of developing a placenta inside my womb? why should i have those placenta hormones in me when i know that there are changes of getting type 2 DM in 5 years time? to get type 2 is at least better than type 1. at least i don't have to get daily injections. sob... i was so depressed last night that i was about to burst into tears, right there in A&E. Skinny Leow was not supportive at all!! he was then feeding my ears with some pathetic sentences ..... ' i am going to be a renowned surgeon in future. you don't have to take your insulins. the worst you can get is to amputate your toes!!!! i can do that for you!!

i don't normally pray to God. But thank gOd my daddy had his diabetic follow up with a very much experienced physician the very same day. Dr Giri is his physician and his best friend. my dad told him about my glucose levels which were pretty much impaired. he was my saviour for the day. Dr Giri said............. 'Nah... its Ok. she doesn't have to worry! No need to go for a diabetic diet ... stress could lead to high glucose too!!'

well, i did my fasting for the 2nd time this morning in the A&E and it was 5. that was after badminton and a more balanced diet the night before. phew!!!! no matter what... i have to control my diet now before it becomes too late!! my dad told me not to chicken out and i learnt that fasting is the most accurate glucose level. i have to start my 30 minutes exercise from today onwards. planning to bring nicky boy for a walk this weekend and not going to have babies in future. adoption is just so beautiful :p

my dad told me that............... 'girl, you won't die from diabetes ok? you just need to control it!! ' but still...............sob