the way it used to be

You saw her name in your chat list. then you remembered how close she was to you back in secondary school. She sat next to you. Those gossiping sessions were endless. You walked to the chemistry lab together. She goes to the ladies with you whenever you need a companion. You would go to town together during the weekends. Both of you fell in love with westlife and stuck their posters in your girly bedrooms, giggling sheepishly.

That was when you initiated a conversation in that chat box. you treasured the friendship like sparkling polished diamonds. You called her by her old nickname, just like how you used to address her 8 years ago when you looked so gullible in your turquoise pinafore. In a split second, she dropped the bomb that tore your vulnerable heart. She told you that unless and until you stopped calling her that nickname, she is not going to talk to you anymore.

There you were, loving and reminiscing things on how they used to be. You were shocked to receive such a reply and realized that things have changed. You thought that nicknames made that friendship special in some ways. You wanted to apologize. But, why apologize? She had changed. Maybe she has a better quality of life now when you are still jobless.

There is nothing that you can do now. You had tried your best to initiate every conversation and her sentence that day would be the end of everything. You are seriously exhausted. You have to learn to let go. You have to move on with your life and meet new people.